I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
