I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
