just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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