He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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