Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
