margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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