i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
