Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
