i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
