hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
