Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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