The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
