why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
