I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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