Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
