I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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