your thong is hanging out like whoa
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm too high and old for this...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
