You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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