i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
