Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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