the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
