Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
