What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
