She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
