So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
