Jerry, you need to find god
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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