And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize