Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
