Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
