She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
