there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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