Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
did i walk over a car last night?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize