it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
