yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
