remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Found your dick twin last night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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