i would punch a child for taco bell
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
