drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
