Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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