I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Alive.
So much puke
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
