I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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