it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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