...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
