so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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