It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize