it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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