This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
