is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
