Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
