I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
