you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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