If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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