You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
