i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
