I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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