Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
