If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
