This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
