i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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