I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
