Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
