I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
