Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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