how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
